Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Osho Jokes on Repressed Sexuality - Osho Jokes

Osho Jokes on Repressed Sexuality :
Osho has highlighted Sexual repession of Humanity through Jokes and at the same time devised Meditations so that Humanity can raise its consciousness.

here are selected Osho jokes on repressed Sexuality

1) "Hey man," says Swami Haridas to his friend, Stonehead Niskriya, "how come you got home so early from your date with Papaya Pineapple last night?"
"Well," explains Stonehead, "after dinner we went back to her apartment. We sat on her bed listening to music, talked for a while, and drank some herb tea. Then she slowly undressed, pulled back the bed covers, lay down, reached over me, and turned out the light."
"So?" asks Haridas. "What happened?"
"Well, I can take a hint," replies Stonehead. "So I went home!"

2) In a school in Poland the teacher asks, "Has any of you ever saved somebody's life?"
A little boy raises his arm, "Yes, my little nephew's."
"How did it happen? Tell us!" asks the teacher.
The little Polack says, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!"

3) The unmarried Polack cleaning woman had a baby. When asked by a social worker about the father of the child, she replied curtly, "Dunno! You think I turn around every time I clean the stairs?"

4) The phone is ringing in the doctor's office. He picks it up and hears the desperate voice of a Polack woman: "Hello, Doc! Did I leave my underpants in your room after the medical examination?"
"No," replies the doctor, "they are not here."
Half an hour later she calls again. "Hello, Doc, it's me again. Don't worry anymore, I found them -- they were at the dentist's!"

5) Roxanne, a beautiful, well-built blonde, applied at a circus for the job of a lion tamer. Ralph was another candidate.
"I will give you both a chance," said the manager. "The girl can go first."
Roxanne, wearing a full-length mink coat, entered the cage. A huge lion was let in with her and immediately the animal started to charge.
Suddenly, Roxanne opened her fur coat and stood there, completely naked. The lion stopped dead in his tracks and began licking her feet, then her hands, then he went meekly back to the corner.
The manager was amazed. He turned towards the young man. "Well, pal, do you think you can top that?"
"I sure can," said Ralph. "You just get that stupid lion out of there and I will show you."

6) Karpuik was rushed to the emergency room of the city hospital. The doctor on duty was amazed to discover that Karpuik had scalded his scrotum. "How did it happen?" he asked. "I was making tea," replied the Polack, "and the directions said, 'Soak bag in hot water.'"

7) Pilzudski took his wife to the doctor and complained that he could not have intercourse with her because she was too tight.
"Alright," said the doctor, "let's test it!"
The sawbones put the wife on the table, applied some vaseline to his instrument and entered Pilzudski's wife easily.
"Hey," said the Polack, as he watched the doctor pumping away, "if it not be for the medicine I think you be screwing my wife!"

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