Saturday, October 18, 2008

Osho jokes

Osho jokes

  1. A burly truck driver sauntered into a tavern in a mean mood, obviously looking for a fight. "Everybody on this side of the bar is a no-good, dirty bum!" he shouted. "Anybody want to make something of it just stand up!" Nobody stood up. "Everybody on this side of the bar is a faggot! A fairy!" No one moved, then suddenly a man stood up. "You wanna fight?" snarled the truck driver. "No," lisped the man, "it's just that I'm on the wrong side of the bar." That's how the mind goes on playing the game -- rationalizing everything.

  2. Harold started hitchhiking and in just a few moments he was picked up by Eleanor, a luscious-looking librarian. "Would you like a cigarette?" he asked. "No, thanks," she replied. "I don't smoke!" They rode in silence for a short time and Harold said, "I know a nice bar up the road here; would you like to stop and have a drink?" "Thank you, no," said Eleanor. "I don't drink!" Ten minutes later, Harold took a wild shot and said, "Why don't we stop at the next motel and make love?" She said, "Alright!"

    They stopped, made it like mad for two solid hours, and then were back driving in her car. "Say, I'm curious," said Harold. "When I asked you to have a smoke, you said no. When I offered to buy you a drink, you turned me down. Yet you went to the motel with me. How come?" "Well," said the librarian, "I always practice what I preach. I tell my Sunday school that you don't have to smoke or drink to have a good time!"

  3. Muriel and Tina were discussing their recent experiences over cocktails. "Say," asked Muriel, "how did you make out with that eccentric millionaire you met yesterday?"
    "He gave me five hundred dollars," said Tina. "That screwball wanted to make it in a coffin." "No kidding!" exclaimed Muriel. "I'll bet that shook you up?" "Yeah, but not as much as the six pall-bearers."

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