Osho Jokes
- The outraged husband discovered his wife in bed with another man. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "Who is this fellow?"
"That seems like a fair question," said the wife, rolling over. "What is your name?" - Mulla Nasrudin and his wife went to Israel for their holidays and visited a nightclub in Tel Aviv. A comedian was on the bill who did his whole act in Hebrew. Nasrudin's wife sat through the comic's act in silence, but Nasrudin roared with laughter at the end of each joke. "I did not know you understood Hebrew," she said to the Mulla when the comedian had concluded his act.
"I don't," replied Nasrudin.
"Well, how come you laughed so much at his jokes?"
"Oh," said Nasrudin, "I trusted him." - Makowski, the agent, called his friend Lyssky, the producer of striptease shows. "Lyssky," he shouted, "I've got a girl for you that is gonna make a fortune for both of us. She is incredible -- gotta a pair of lungs that will knock your eyes out! Listen to these statistics: hips -- forty; waist -- twenty-seven; chest -- ninety-nine!"
"Incredible!" said Lyssky. "What kind of act does she do?"
"Act? What act?! She just crawls out and tries to stand up!" - The newlyweds arrived at their honeymoon hotel. The excited groom, quite pleased with his reputation as a lover, and eager to thrill his bride with his expertise, quickly threw her upon the bed and performed with the skill of a champion sexual athlete. When it was over he whispered to his bride, "Ah yes, my dear, I could tell how pleased you were -- I noticed your toes curling up in ecstasy. I promise you I will always bring you such joy!"
She whispered in reply, "Perhaps next time, Romeo, you could remove my pantyhose first!" - In a school in Poland the teacher asks, "Has any of you ever saved somebody's life?"
A little boy raises his arm, "Yes, my little nephew's."
"How did it happen? Tell us!" asks the teacher.
The little Polack says, "I hid my sister's birth control pills!" - The unmarried Polack cleaning woman had a baby. When asked by a social worker about the father of the child, she replied curtly, "Dunno! You think I turn around every time I clean the stairs?"
- The phone is ringing in the doctor's office. He picks it up and hears the desperate voice of a Polack woman: "Hello, Doc! Did I leave my underpants in your room after the medical examination?""No," replies the doctor, "they are not here."Half an hour later she calls again. "Hello, Doc, it's me again. Don't worry anymore, I found them -- they were at the dentist's!"
No comments:
Post a Comment