Osho - One old Jew was praying to God

Osho - One old Jew was praying to God for years and never asking for anything. God became fed up. If you ask for something, something can be done and he can get rid of you! But he was not asking for anything; he was just praying and praying and praying.

So one day God said, ”Listen! What do you want? Why don’t you say exactly what you want? I am ready to fulfil it.”

The old Jew said, ”Is it true that we are your chosen people?”
God said, ”Yes, that’s true.”
The Jew said, ”Now please choose somebody else. For three thousand years, just

Osho Joke on Christian missionaries in Vatican

Osho Joke on Christian missionaries in Vatican

Osho : I have heard this story:
At the Vatican in Rome a gathering of missionaries from all over the world met to discuss their experiences in the Third World countries.

The priests working in India and in Africa were talking together.
”Well, Father, how are things going in India?” asked the African priest.
”Very well, thank you, Father,” he replied. ”We have been working on ways to ease the food shortage and have found a new way to reduce the population.”

”How?” inquired the African priest. ”Are you using new methods of birth control?”
”No, no. After much experimentation we have seen that that doesn’t work. So we have invented a very simple and effective technique: the ’Crunch Scrunch Method.’”

”What is that?” asked the priest, intrigued.
”In the big centers like Bombay and Calcutta, our organization has begun to construct new hygienic male toilets – but with a unique design. When a patron squats down to shit, his balls hang down through two separate holes and we have one of our workers standing underneath with a brick in each hand – crunch! scrunch! – we smash their balls together!”

”Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed the other priest with a gasp. ”That must hurt!”
”Oh no, not really,” said the Indian priest, ”not if you keep your thumbs out of the way!”